Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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