yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
