Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
