$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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