How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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