O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
