I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
