I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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