yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
