Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
