Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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