i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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