Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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