If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize