my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
