Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
