we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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