It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
