just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's always time for handjobs
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
