you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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