It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
