Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
