Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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