what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize