I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
