there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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