I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
