Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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