You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
