I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
