He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
