is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
