A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
