Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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