so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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