I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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