operation have a gay friend backfired
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
