yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
