definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
