Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she told me i tasted like america
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
