I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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