i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
