I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
