so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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