I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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