This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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