the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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