Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That accounts for only three of the penises
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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