Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
