That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
