dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
