I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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