No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
