I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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