Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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