haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
