I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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