i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
