so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
