i can't believe i had my finger in that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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