I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
