I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
last night I used snow as a chaser
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
