is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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