Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
