I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
