Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
