last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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