So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
