she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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