My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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